Tea Time Critiques
Movie: Blackfish (Documentary)
Overall movie score: 5
(1 being screw the whales and 5 being burn seaworld to the ground)
Point breakdown:
Capturing
Sealand and Loro Parque
Punishment and aggression
Death and injuries 
Lies and denial
Finial critiques:
(Spoilers)
I’d like to begin this article with if anyone who has a heart watches this movie and doesn’t want to burn Seaworld down to the ground then I as a human-being will lose faith in all of humanity. This movie really reminds people that wild animals should not be captured and forced to live in the confines of captivity. We as a civilization have lost sight of the fact that not only are we destroying our own habitat but we are also depleting every other living things environment as well. So as a solution we created things like theme-parks and zoos/aquariums to rectify the still increasing amount of damage we’ve already done and are still doing. So instead of trying to turn it around and putting all energy into trying to create a better natural habitat where these creatures reside we think it’s better to take them away from their families and cram them into metal/concrete cages. Maybe it’s just me but I fail to see the logic in that solution. Granted there have been occasions where a species comes close to extinction (of course it’s normally our fault) and some centers around the world have helped repopulate those species to avoid extinction but i still strongly feel like we shouldn’t capture animals for our own personal pleasures. Yes seeing “Shamu” perform at Seaworld is breath taking and majestic but it sort of loses it magic when you realize how unhappy the animal truly is and how most of the tricks were taught by with holding food. I’d do a back-flip if I was starving too.  
1) "Capturing" aka kidnapping
In the beginning of the documentary it discusses in detail the methods used in the early 70s of capturing Killer Whales. John Crowe, one of the men who actively participated in the capturing of the Orcas during this time relives his experiences. According to John the process required a few boats and an air spotter to track the pods into coves where then they’d drop nets around the pod and proceed to capture the calf’s. Once the selected calf’s were being secured for transport they’d drop net and allow the rest of the pod to swim back out into open water. What was really heart wrenching was seeing how the pod refused to leave the area that their young was kidnapped from. The distress cries from the calf’s in my opinion would have been more then enough to crack even the hardest of men into releasing these poor babies back into the the wild to be reunited with their mothers. So although John Crowe seemed as though he was having a hard time battling with the demons of his past with capturing Orca I feel absolutely no pity for that man. Job, no job I would cut them free while screaming bloody murder if anyone tried to stop me but alas he continued for many years. Whats even worse is not only did they cause trauma in the young and pod they also ended up snarling and killing some of the whales in the nets while they were kidnapping the calf’s. Talk about some serious foreshadowing for their future in captivity. If it starts bad it’s probably going end bad. 
2)  Sealand and Loro Parque 
So as soon as these poor Calf’s were ripped away from their mothers they were sold into captivity. Tilikum was one of these calf’s sold to Sealand; a small (I can’t emphasize what I mean when I say small) marina in Canada. The pictures and footage of the facility alone were down right own horrific. I can’t even possibly fathom how the employees weren’t outraged by the areas in which the three killer whales were housed. I mean I don’t like Seaworld but even their holding areas are bigger then this floating sea box. Canada you should be ashamed of the fact that this type of theme-park was even allowed to be opened. 
(Below is a picture of SeaLand)

(Below is a picture of the holding sheds where the three Orcas were held at night and long time periods during winter)

With that being said although Loro Parque appeared to be bigger it still was poorly constructed and both facilities were staffed with unqualified employees.  The main difference really was SeaLand didn’t allow employees to swim with the Orcas and Loro Parque did. Either way caging these wild creatures in small arenas not only damages their body physically but also causes agitation in the animals.
(Below picture of Loro Parque)

(Below is a picture of dorsal collapsing in captive Orcas)  

(Below is an image from Loro Parque where due to a poor facility and under trained staff the whales had stomach problems and mouth problems)

3) Punishment and aggression
As far as I know killer whales are born and end up dieing with their pods so when you take calf’s away from their pods and then force them into a new pod chances are they simply tolerate each-other and end up being aggressive to assert dormancy. In Tilikums instance when he was introduced to two adult females at SeaLand the way the trainers trained Tilikum was by withholding food from all three of the whales so that way the two females would punish Tilikum by raking him (tooth-scratching) forcing him to realize if he didn’t cooperator then he’d get hurt by the adults. I don’t know how everyone else feels but I have to say that this is some Saw(movie) bullshit… I mean although Jigsaw didn’t actually physically kill anyone he still technically murdered people just like the trainers didn’t actually hurt their whales they did indirectly knowing full well he’d be hurt. Sealand isn’t and wasn’t the only place that used this indirect method of punishment.
(Below Raking (tooth-scratching) )    


(Below captured photo of punishment amongst whales)

Yes I’m pretty sure Orcas practice this form of punishment in the wild but I doubt that it’s as bad as in captivity. I mean the great thing about the open ocean is they have space to spread out and not get into fights as much unlike when your stuck 365 days a year in close quarters with each-other. These trainers know full well what their doing promoting negative behavior amongst the “pod” and then turn around and ask why the whales can be aggressive? it makes no damn sense.
Speaking of which withholding food to produce entertainment is just down right out wrong. Killer whales (if have seen other documentary’s about them) are very smart, very big on family ties and also very skilled hunters. If you really think your 100% safe around these large predators then your an idiot. Not to mention you’ve kept them in a tank for most of their lives, I’m pretty sure they get real tired of your shit when you withhold things from them. Lord knows I would.
4) Death and injuries
(Below Seaworlds Forms)

I still do find it deeply tragic when I hear about poor trainers/people being injured or killed while interacting with these large animals. According to the the film I don’t think anyone has been harmed by wild Killer Whales and that the only recorded incidents are captive whales. I feel like that one sentence sums up why they shouldn’t be captured and held captive because I’m sure the relationships with the trainers might be forged but it’s still a wild animal and your still training it with treats. I mean its not that shocking to hear about a lion mauling a trainer but it’s so hard to believe “shamu” had a nervous break down and killed a trainer. I mean really? these whales have the word “killer" in-front of their names not to mention aside from Great Whites (which they’ve proven killer whales eat) their pretty much at the top of the food chain in the the wild. I personally think their scarier cause they travel in pods and they use their cunning to capture prey, sharks just use instincts. Anyway in the documentary they talk predominately about five incidents three of which were fatalities. On December 24th 2009 Alexis Martinez trainer at Loro Parque was killer then not even a year later February 24, 2010 Dawn Brancheau who worked at Seaworld in Orlando. 
(Below picture of Alexis and Dawn)

(Below Dawns autopsy report)

At Loro Parque apprentice trainer Claudia Vollhardt was attacked and nearly drowned by Tekoa in October of 2007 so the signs of aggression were already there. Granted it was a different whale then the one Alexis was killed by but hey. That’s not even mentioning all the horrible little incidents like trainers being pushed or pressed against tank walls or even being lunged for. One of the biggest ones recorded was with Ken Peters on November 29th 2006 where the orca grabbed his feet and drug him to the bottom of the pool. 
(Below Ken Peters being drag down)

And still we are shocked when it keeps happening again and again with captive whales.
5) Lies and denial
The longer I write this review the deeper I get into research that I not only saw during the documentary but also things that it didn’t touch base on. The ungodly amount of signs showing that killer whales can be aggressive and possibly dangerous is seriously high. But the fact that these organizations such as Seaworld are so hell bent on making these large awesome predators out to be gentle giants is baffling. I mean they even go as far as lying about the incidents. Dawn for example they summed it up with how it was her fault for wearing a pony tail, claiming that’s how Tilikam grabbed her and killed her so that it doesn’t seem like it’s their or the whales fault. I do agree that you know very well your signing up for a possible dangerous job BUT he didn’t grab her pony tail and they knew this because they read the autopsy report. He grabbed her arm and pulled her in. No ones really sure if it started as aggression or just playing but none the less they had the nerve to deny justify and blame and she wasn’t even buried yet. What really works my tits is that wasn’t even the first time they lied! During some prior aggressive attempts people were forced to deny it and destroy evidence. I don’t know about you but that’s just fucked up and it really needs to stop.
(Below Believe email)   

Closing opinion:
This documentary was such a huge eye opener and if you were to ask me “Would You watch it again?" I would and I’d say I’d tell EVERYONE to watch once or even a few times and spread the word. It will make you cry, it will make you angry and it will leave you wanting to make a change. Honestly I feel like I want to go boycott Seaworld or even any organization that traps animals against their will. I think it’s time as a civilization that we evolve and realize not to try and change nature but live and grow with it. Free the killer whales, let that be the beginning of a new us where we coexist not destroy.

Written by: Admin GemmaLouWho

Movie: Blackfish (Documentary)

Overall movie score: 5

(1 being screw the whales and 5 being burn seaworld to the ground)

Point breakdown:

Capturing

Sealand and Loro Parque

Punishment and aggression

Death and injuries

Lies and denial

Finial critiques:

(Spoilers)

I’d like to begin this article with if anyone who has a heart watches this movie and doesn’t want to burn Seaworld down to the ground then I as a human-being will lose faith in all of humanity. This movie really reminds people that wild animals should not be captured and forced to live in the confines of captivity. We as a civilization have lost sight of the fact that not only are we destroying our own habitat but we are also depleting every other living things environment as well. So as a solution we created things like theme-parks and zoos/aquariums to rectify the still increasing amount of damage we’ve already done and are still doing. So instead of trying to turn it around and putting all energy into trying to create a better natural habitat where these creatures reside we think it’s better to take them away from their families and cram them into metal/concrete cages. Maybe it’s just me but I fail to see the logic in that solution. Granted there have been occasions where a species comes close to extinction (of course it’s normally our fault) and some centers around the world have helped repopulate those species to avoid extinction but i still strongly feel like we shouldn’t capture animals for our own personal pleasures. Yes seeing “Shamu” perform at Seaworld is breath taking and majestic but it sort of loses it magic when you realize how unhappy the animal truly is and how most of the tricks were taught by with holding food. I’d do a back-flip if I was starving too.  

1) "Capturing" aka kidnapping

In the beginning of the documentary it discusses in detail the methods used in the early 70s of capturing Killer Whales. John Crowe, one of the men who actively participated in the capturing of the Orcas during this time relives his experiences. According to John the process required a few boats and an air spotter to track the pods into coves where then they’d drop nets around the pod and proceed to capture the calf’s. Once the selected calf’s were being secured for transport they’d drop net and allow the rest of the pod to swim back out into open water. What was really heart wrenching was seeing how the pod refused to leave the area that their young was kidnapped from. The distress cries from the calf’s in my opinion would have been more then enough to crack even the hardest of men into releasing these poor babies back into the the wild to be reunited with their mothers. So although John Crowe seemed as though he was having a hard time battling with the demons of his past with capturing Orca I feel absolutely no pity for that man. Job, no job I would cut them free while screaming bloody murder if anyone tried to stop me but alas he continued for many years. Whats even worse is not only did they cause trauma in the young and pod they also ended up snarling and killing some of the whales in the nets while they were kidnapping the calf’s. Talk about some serious foreshadowing for their future in captivity. If it starts bad it’s probably going end bad. 

2)  Sealand and Loro Parque

So as soon as these poor Calf’s were ripped away from their mothers they were sold into captivity. Tilikum was one of these calf’s sold to Sealand; a small (I can’t emphasize what I mean when I say small) marina in Canada. The pictures and footage of the facility alone were down right own horrific. I can’t even possibly fathom how the employees weren’t outraged by the areas in which the three killer whales were housed. I mean I don’t like Seaworld but even their holding areas are bigger then this floating sea box. Canada you should be ashamed of the fact that this type of theme-park was even allowed to be opened.

(Below is a picture of SeaLand)

(Below is a picture of the holding sheds where the three Orcas were held at night and long time periods during winter)

With that being said although Loro Parque appeared to be bigger it still was poorly constructed and both facilities were staffed with unqualified employees.  The main difference really was SeaLand didn’t allow employees to swim with the Orcas and Loro Parque did. Either way caging these wild creatures in small arenas not only damages their body physically but also causes agitation in the animals.

(Below picture of Loro Parque)

(Below is a picture of dorsal collapsing in captive Orcas)  

(Below is an image from Loro Parque where due to a poor facility and under trained staff the whales had stomach problems and mouth problems)

3) Punishment and aggression

As far as I know killer whales are born and end up dieing with their pods so when you take calf’s away from their pods and then force them into a new pod chances are they simply tolerate each-other and end up being aggressive to assert dormancy. In Tilikums instance when he was introduced to two adult females at SeaLand the way the trainers trained Tilikum was by withholding food from all three of the whales so that way the two females would punish Tilikum by raking him (tooth-scratching) forcing him to realize if he didn’t cooperator then he’d get hurt by the adults. I don’t know how everyone else feels but I have to say that this is some Saw(movie) bullshit… I mean although Jigsaw didn’t actually physically kill anyone he still technically murdered people just like the trainers didn’t actually hurt their whales they did indirectly knowing full well he’d be hurt. Sealand isn’t and wasn’t the only place that used this indirect method of punishment.

(Below Raking (tooth-scratching) )    

(Below captured photo of punishment amongst whales)

Yes I’m pretty sure Orcas practice this form of punishment in the wild but I doubt that it’s as bad as in captivity. I mean the great thing about the open ocean is they have space to spread out and not get into fights as much unlike when your stuck 365 days a year in close quarters with each-other. These trainers know full well what their doing promoting negative behavior amongst the “pod” and then turn around and ask why the whales can be aggressive? it makes no damn sense.

Speaking of which withholding food to produce entertainment is just down right out wrong. Killer whales (if have seen other documentary’s about them) are very smart, very big on family ties and also very skilled hunters. If you really think your 100% safe around these large predators then your an idiot. Not to mention you’ve kept them in a tank for most of their lives, I’m pretty sure they get real tired of your shit when you withhold things from them. Lord knows I would.

4) Death and injuries

(Below Seaworlds Forms)

I still do find it deeply tragic when I hear about poor trainers/people being injured or killed while interacting with these large animals. According to the the film I don’t think anyone has been harmed by wild Killer Whales and that the only recorded incidents are captive whales. I feel like that one sentence sums up why they shouldn’t be captured and held captive because I’m sure the relationships with the trainers might be forged but it’s still a wild animal and your still training it with treats. I mean its not that shocking to hear about a lion mauling a trainer but it’s so hard to believe “shamu” had a nervous break down and killed a trainer. I mean really? these whales have the word “killer" in-front of their names not to mention aside from Great Whites (which they’ve proven killer whales eat) their pretty much at the top of the food chain in the the wild. I personally think their scarier cause they travel in pods and they use their cunning to capture prey, sharks just use instincts. Anyway in the documentary they talk predominately about five incidents three of which were fatalities. On December 24th 2009 Alexis Martinez trainer at Loro Parque was killer then not even a year later February 24, 2010 Dawn Brancheau who worked at Seaworld in Orlando.

(Below picture of Alexis and Dawn)

(Below Dawns autopsy report)

At Loro Parque apprentice trainer Claudia Vollhardt was attacked and nearly drowned by Tekoa in October of 2007 so the signs of aggression were already there. Granted it was a different whale then the one Alexis was killed by but hey. That’s not even mentioning all the horrible little incidents like trainers being pushed or pressed against tank walls or even being lunged for. One of the biggest ones recorded was with Ken Peters on November 29th 2006 where the orca grabbed his feet and drug him to the bottom of the pool. 

(Below Ken Peters being drag down)

And still we are shocked when it keeps happening again and again with captive whales.

5) Lies and denial

The longer I write this review the deeper I get into research that I not only saw during the documentary but also things that it didn’t touch base on. The ungodly amount of signs showing that killer whales can be aggressive and possibly dangerous is seriously high. But the fact that these organizations such as Seaworld are so hell bent on making these large awesome predators out to be gentle giants is baffling. I mean they even go as far as lying about the incidents. Dawn for example they summed it up with how it was her fault for wearing a pony tail, claiming that’s how Tilikam grabbed her and killed her so that it doesn’t seem like it’s their or the whales fault. I do agree that you know very well your signing up for a possible dangerous job BUT he didn’t grab her pony tail and they knew this because they read the autopsy report. He grabbed her arm and pulled her in. No ones really sure if it started as aggression or just playing but none the less they had the nerve to deny justify and blame and she wasn’t even buried yet. What really works my tits is that wasn’t even the first time they lied! During some prior aggressive attempts people were forced to deny it and destroy evidence. I don’t know about you but that’s just fucked up and it really needs to stop.

(Below Believe email)   

Closing opinion:

This documentary was such a huge eye opener and if you were to ask me “Would You watch it again?" I would and I’d say I’d tell EVERYONE to watch once or even a few times and spread the word. It will make you cry, it will make you angry and it will leave you wanting to make a change. Honestly I feel like I want to go boycott Seaworld or even any organization that traps animals against their will. I think it’s time as a civilization that we evolve and realize not to try and change nature but live and grow with it. Free the killer whales, let that be the beginning of a new us where we coexist not destroy.

Written by: Admin GemmaLouWho

The Secret life of Walter Mitty

OVERALL SCORE : 6 out  of 10
1) Sean Penn’s character Sean O’Connell
2) Stretch Armstrong
3) The Secret Self
4) Fantasy sequences
5) Good message
6) Supporting characters Adam Scott (Ted Hendricks) Patton  Ozwalt( Todd  Maher)

Let me start by saying I often find Ben Stiller movies generally abhor-able. Now every once in a while this guy will create something superior like Tropic Thunder (10 points) or Zoolander (9 points) but most of his stuff just doesn’t do it for me. Despite my better judgement I hoped to strike gold  with this one but was sadly disappointed. Now don’t get me wrong I do not dislike this movie, it has redeeming qualities, it is by no means in the same category as the Meet the Fockers 1, 2, 3, oh God please kill me, debacle.

1) Firstly, Sean Penn’s character Sean O’Connell was lots of fun. He appears to be this idealized adventuring artist, photographing volcanoes exploding on top of a prop plane, ridiculous! when we finally meet him, he IS in fact the enlightened authentic self we all hope to realize.  Pursuing his passion as the universe protects and guides him on his true path. Yet still  we find him human and flawed, poor choice in location of negative 25 and yet the perfect lesson for Mitty MMMMM. (What you seek was with you all along, I love these types of ideas because people still aren’t getting that message in their own lives. Didn’t everyone see The Wizard of Oz as a kid?

2) Yeah a whole point for Stretch ArmStrong! What an interesting Talisman, I have myself never seen one of these in person but I am well aware of the strong iconic presence it has to the generation above me.  I loved the fight scene with Ted Hendricks over Stretch, very reminiscent of how young boys would act over it I imagine back in the mid 70’s .
Then when he has served his purpose Mitty is able to trade Stretch for an awesome skate board later in the film. I couldn’t help but feel that the poor Iceland boys got gypt in this trade, but I guess I do not fully appreciate the amazingness of the Stretch Armstrong   :)

3) Have you ever noticed the same themes popping up everywhere you go? Well right now I’ve been reading a lot about the secret self, perhaps this is why I had higher hopes for this movie. There is nothing more fascinating to me than the raw unedited thoughts of other people, I love people who have discovered their true selves and live their lives unabashedly! This film is truly a call to action, it illustrates how easy it is for each of us to become too comfortable, too scared to live out loud or even forget how important and integral we are to each others truths. Such a hefty life lesson dressed up in humor so it’s easier to swallow.

4) Bring on the animated sequence of his larger than life fantasy world, i imagine this is pretty much how my husband experiences the world in his mind ;) I appreciated the media influence of Mitty’s characters in these fantasies, the over the top matrix/Spiderman type city fight sequence, over dramatized and totally unrealistic outcome, makes you think twice about the quite guy working right next to you. Excellent fun!

5) Even though this film is no esoteric masterpiece, the ideas addressed are key concepts I wish everyone thought about once in while, especially those types who thought and I quote ” I just loved that Avatar movie (4 points Btw) never thought of the planet as our mother” Face-palm!

6) Ben Stiller delivered a decent performance, pretty much the same person he seems to play in all his films  lately but the character worked for this story. Kudos to his skateboarding  skills,  for a minute I thought he had just written this story around his epic skateboarding scene…. Anyway, it was the supporting characters that really added some flavor to this film.

Not Kristen Wiig though blah! She as always gave a completely nonthreatening, uninteresting, uninspiring vanilla performance. Really substitute her for anyone else you’d never notice the difference.

I totally enjoyed Adam Scott (Ted Hendricks), played the ladder climbing douche so well. OMG  the beard!

Ben Stiller to Ted fantasy  ”You know who beards look good on?Gandalf, not you!”

This line goes into the vault of lines to use on someone one day.

Last but not least,  Patton  Ozwalt( Todd  Manher) as the eHarmony customer support, I just love this guy in anything. He stole the scenes and wasn’t even IN them till the very end!

Would I own this movie? Maybe but I’m not counting the days till it’s DVD release, perhaps when it finds it’s way to the $5 bargain bin.

Overall It was a fair, well made film.

Written By: Admin Arctic_Child

Movie: We’re The Millers
Overall Movie Score: 9 (lowest 1-10 highest)
Point breakdown:
Evil boss
Awkward tent scene
Nick Offerman
Any movie about weed is ALWAYS funny
“No ragrets”
Fun and fast paced
The character Arch of David Clark (played by Jason Sudeikis)
Characters were quirky and lovable
Unexpected resolution
Final critique:
(Spoilers)
1) Brad Gurdlinger (played by Ed Helms) stars as David Clarks drug supplying boss whom not only delivered a laugh out loud performance but also kept the ball rolling. Old friend turned boss, he’s a cocky asshole, the type of guy we’ve all met at least once in our life times. He has funny rebuttals such as:

"David Clark: Why? Why? Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant-ass spider, that’s why! 
Brad Gurdlinger: That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops and superpowers?” 

2) The awkward tent scene has to be one of my top two favorite scenes from this movie. The honest exploration of an innocent couple attempting a PG orgy is absolutely a riot. The Apple pie all American family is hammed up with their prudish longing for adventure only exasperates for the sexual exploration scene leaving the audience feeling embarrassed and awkward for them is just plain hilarious!      
Watch tent scene here ——->((Click Click))
3) Two words: Nick Offerman, the man alone is a comical genius. So to be expected his character is a Nick classic. Not much else to say if you know his other role as Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation.
4) The whole movie begins with the idea of smuggling a “smidge” of pot across the Mexican border to pay off a debt. With a hint of “Grandmas Boy" sillyness and a dash of "Cheech and Chongs Up In Smoke" likeness the blend rolled into a nice comedic drug smuggling "family" movie.
5) “No Ragrets" Scottie P "you know what I’m sayin" was one of the best jabs at what every parent fears their child is going to bring home to dinner. His constant hoodlum type manner allows the repetitive joke to run smoothly without making it look too forced. I often find when a type of character is suppose to look like an idiot sometimes it’s over dramatized, I found Scottie P was just the right mixture of over the top and seriousness making the character split your seams funny and also easily relatable. Who doesn’t know a "You know what I’m sayin’?" kid? 

 “Scottie P.: You know what I’m sayin?
David Clark: Well, I’m awake and I speak English, so yeah I know what you’re saying.”

6) The entire duration of the film is laced with thrills and hilarity. I never found myself uninterested. The movie slows down a bit during the hospital scene but comes right back swinging at the end.
7) David Clark, drug dealer/pot smoker who has to turn himself and three others into the perfect American family to smuggle pot across the boarder. The character starts off as a self absorbed, douche-bag with a quick tongue. As the audience goes through the physical and emotional journey with David you grow to not only love the tongue in cheek quipyness of the character but also the slow evolution of his character.
8) Every one of the characters in the movie had their very own stand alone awesome personality and quirkyness. I genuinely wouldn’t mind watching any of them separately. If the movie hadn’t had just one of any of the characters I feel like the whole movie would have failed. The sprinkle of sexual magnetism between David and Rose, the banter between Kenny and Casey, the Fitzgerald’s awkward embraces to the Millers… without any of these intricate dynamics the movie would have been off balanced. 
9) Out of the whole movie the end surprised me the most. It’s always nice when a movie can throw me a curve-ball. During the movie journey I started to question “How are they going to stay together?”, “Does he end up going to jail to save them?" it was hard for me to picture any rational outcome. As the credits rolled I sat there content/happy with the way they choice to end the movie. Now I’m not going to intentionally spoil the ending so I wont go into gooey details but let’s just say I doubt it’d ever happen in real life.
Anyway if you were to ask me “Would you own this movie?" I’d very enthusiastically say yes and probably proceed to tell you to watch it. As a matter of fact, if you haven’t watched it yet go watch it now!
Written By: Admin GemmaLouWho

 “Hey its Casey I’m not dead in a ditch (little picture of a fucking whale) #yolo”

Movie: We’re The Millers

Overall Movie Score: 9 (lowest 1-10 highest)

Point breakdown:

  1. Evil boss
  2. Awkward tent scene
  3. Nick Offerman
  4. Any movie about weed is ALWAYS funny
  5. No ragrets
  6. Fun and fast paced
  7. The character Arch of David Clark (played by Jason Sudeikis)
  8. Characters were quirky and lovable
  9. Unexpected resolution

Final critique:

(Spoilers)

1) Brad Gurdlinger (played by Ed Helms) stars as David Clarks drug supplying boss whom not only delivered a laugh out loud performance but also kept the ball rolling. Old friend turned boss, he’s a cocky asshole, the type of guy we’ve all met at least once in our life times. He has funny rebuttals such as:

"David Clark: Why? Why? Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant-ass spider, that’s why!

Brad Gurdlinger: That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops and superpowers?”

2) The awkward tent scene has to be one of my top two favorite scenes from this movie. The honest exploration of an innocent couple attempting a PG orgy is absolutely a riot. The Apple pie all American family is hammed up with their prudish longing for adventure only exasperates for the sexual exploration scene leaving the audience feeling embarrassed and awkward for them is just plain hilarious!      

Watch tent scene here ——->((Click Click))

3) Two words: Nick Offerman, the man alone is a comical genius. So to be expected his character is a Nick classic. Not much else to say if you know his other role as Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation.

4) The whole movie begins with the idea of smuggling a “smidge” of pot across the Mexican border to pay off a debt. With a hint of “Grandmas Boy" sillyness and a dash of "Cheech and Chongs Up In Smoke" likeness the blend rolled into a nice comedic drug smuggling "family" movie.

5) “No Ragrets" Scottie P "you know what I’m sayin" was one of the best jabs at what every parent fears their child is going to bring home to dinner. His constant hoodlum type manner allows the repetitive joke to run smoothly without making it look too forced. I often find when a type of character is suppose to look like an idiot sometimes it’s over dramatized, I found Scottie P was just the right mixture of over the top and seriousness making the character split your seams funny and also easily relatable. Who doesn’t know a "You know what I’m sayin’?" kid?

Scottie P.: You know what I’m sayin?

David Clark: Well, I’m awake and I speak English, so yeah I know what you’re saying.”

6) The entire duration of the film is laced with thrills and hilarity. I never found myself uninterested. The movie slows down a bit during the hospital scene but comes right back swinging at the end.

7) David Clark, drug dealer/pot smoker who has to turn himself and three others into the perfect American family to smuggle pot across the boarder. The character starts off as a self absorbed, douche-bag with a quick tongue. As the audience goes through the physical and emotional journey with David you grow to not only love the tongue in cheek quipyness of the character but also the slow evolution of his character.

8) Every one of the characters in the movie had their very own stand alone awesome personality and quirkyness. I genuinely wouldn’t mind watching any of them separately. If the movie hadn’t had just one of any of the characters I feel like the whole movie would have failed. The sprinkle of sexual magnetism between David and Rose, the banter between Kenny and Casey, the Fitzgerald’s awkward embraces to the Millers… without any of these intricate dynamics the movie would have been off balanced. 

9) Out of the whole movie the end surprised me the most. It’s always nice when a movie can throw me a curve-ball. During the movie journey I started to question “How are they going to stay together?”, “Does he end up going to jail to save them?" it was hard for me to picture any rational outcome. As the credits rolled I sat there content/happy with the way they choice to end the movie. Now I’m not going to intentionally spoil the ending so I wont go into gooey details but let’s just say I doubt it’d ever happen in real life.

Anyway if you were to ask me “Would you own this movie?" I’d very enthusiastically say yes and probably proceed to tell you to watch it. As a matter of fact, if you haven’t watched it yet go watch it now!

Written By: Admin GemmaLouWho

“Hey its Casey I’m not dead in a ditch (little picture of a fucking whale) #yolo”

Movie: Frozen
Overall movie score: 9 (lowest 1-10 highest)
Point breakdown:
Solid storyline
Well made, aesthetics
Humor
Awesome soundtrack
Good ending
Good lessons for girls
The goblins
Sisterly feels
To Own
Final critique:
(Spoilers)
1) One of my favorite genres is animation, So I am always first inline to see these types of films. I find they are either super awesome or super awful! It’s been forever since Disney release anything that even came close to the standards they set in the 90s. Frankly, Frozen surprised the “pants off” me, it has a rich, layered and poignant storyline, filled with interesting and and relate-able characters.
2) Visually this movie is impressive, the animation is clean and a fun style which holds on to the hand-drawn magic of 2D characters. I enjoyed everything about the movie visually, camera angles, shots, sequences, lighting, animation, character designs ect. No complaints in this department.
3) This is classic fairytale stuff, sprinkled with tastefully placed humor. Often a funny sub character can steal the show but the leads were interesting enough to hold their own. It is a heart warming story no pun intended.
4) I think I will most likely be purchasing the soundtrack and singing these songs in my car (don’t tell anyone). There are fun songs about accepting who you are which frankly is a demon we fight our whole life. Good stuff for little girls!
5) On that note, great resolution to this story, even I did not expect that our female protagonist would actually save her self, this is normally a chronic failure I see in most films in relations to women, they must wait to be rescued by their prince! But not this time nice job Disney Thank you!!This is great message for little girls, save yourself ladies. About bloody time!
6) Not forgetting the boys of course I found Kristoff and Sven interactions very entertaining. I loved that Kristoff was the authentic type of chap who struggled to do the right thing in stark contrast to Hans the perfect, kind instant boyfriend with an evil agenda. This to is a fantastic and refreshing portrait of love in the world. Beware little girls of Mr Perfect, the guy to love is the slightly difficult annoying one :) .
7) The Goblins were so cute, what a great re imagining of this mythical creature. I could watch a story of just about them! It makes me feel so satisfied when the smaller supporting characters are created with such substance and flavor, happy times. 
8) I’m a big sister and this movie slams you right in the feels if you have a close relationship with yours. It reminded me of our childhood together and I felt Elsa’s pain as she tried to protect the one she loves causing her own suffering. oh the feels!!
9) Overall I think this is one own, and like most of my high scoring films it’s the type you can enjoy again and again. I hope more films aimed at young girls follow suit with the good ideas raised by this film.
Written by: Admin Arctic-Child

Movie: Frozen

Overall movie score: 9 (lowest 1-10 highest)

Point breakdown:

  1. Solid storyline
  2. Well made, aesthetics
  3. Humor
  4. Awesome soundtrack
  5. Good ending
  6. Good lessons for girls
  7. The goblins
  8. Sisterly feels
  9. To Own

Final critique:

(Spoilers)

1) One of my favorite genres is animation, So I am always first inline to see these types of films. I find they are either super awesome or super awful! It’s been forever since Disney release anything that even came close to the standards they set in the 90s. Frankly, Frozen surprised the “pants off” me, it has a rich, layered and poignant storyline, filled with interesting and and relate-able characters.

2) Visually this movie is impressive, the animation is clean and a fun style which holds on to the hand-drawn magic of 2D characters. I enjoyed everything about the movie visually, camera angles, shots, sequences, lighting, animation, character designs ect. No complaints in this department.

3) This is classic fairytale stuff, sprinkled with tastefully placed humor. Often a funny sub character can steal the show but the leads were interesting enough to hold their own. It is a heart warming story no pun intended.

4) I think I will most likely be purchasing the soundtrack and singing these songs in my car (don’t tell anyone). There are fun songs about accepting who you are which frankly is a demon we fight our whole life. Good stuff for little girls!

5) On that note, great resolution to this story, even I did not expect that our female protagonist would actually save her self, this is normally a chronic failure I see in most films in relations to women, they must wait to be rescued by their prince! But not this time nice job Disney Thank you!!This is great message for little girls, save yourself ladies. About bloody time!

6) Not forgetting the boys of course I found Kristoff and Sven interactions very entertaining. I loved that Kristoff was the authentic type of chap who struggled to do the right thing in stark contrast to Hans the perfect, kind instant boyfriend with an evil agenda. This to is a fantastic and refreshing portrait of love in the world. Beware little girls of Mr Perfect, the guy to love is the slightly difficult annoying one :) .

7) The Goblins were so cute, what a great re imagining of this mythical creature. I could watch a story of just about them! It makes me feel so satisfied when the smaller supporting characters are created with such substance and flavor, happy times. 

8) I’m a big sister and this movie slams you right in the feels if you have a close relationship with yours. It reminded me of our childhood together and I felt Elsa’s pain as she tried to protect the one she loves causing her own suffering. oh the feels!!

9) Overall I think this is one own, and like most of my high scoring films it’s the type you can enjoy again and again. I hope more films aimed at young girls follow suit with the good ideas raised by this film.

Written by: Admin Arctic-Child

Movie: Kick-Ass 2Overall movie score: 4 (lowest 1-10 highest)
Point breakdown:
First point goes to Hit Girls early in the movie fight scene
Second point goes to Mother Russia (Who overall was an awesome character)
Third point goes to The Mother Fucker (Any super villain who dresses in bondage gear is hilarious)
And the fourth and final point goes to the equal amount of awesome gore the first movie had (Love me some bloody gory fights)
Final critique:
(Spoilers) 
If somebody were to ask me if I would ever actually own this movie I would say no (and I’m a movie connoisseur so that’s saying something). After watching and really enjoying the first kick-ass watching the second one was a given although I feel like I could have gone my whole life without seeing it. Big Daddy and Hit Girl were some of the biggest reasons why I loved the first movie but alas Big Daddy was killed at the end of the first movie so no appearance from him and Hit Girl  is too busy trying to fit in to be Hit Girl.  Don’t get me wrong some points were given here and there for some bad-ass scenes where she was actually Hit Girl. Onto Colonel Stars and Stripes, played by Jim Carrey, the character was very fun for the short amount of time he starred in the movie. I felt as if the character could have played a heavier roll and possibly been fleshed out a bit more (He might have even saved the movie if he had been written in properly). Which reminds me, did anyone else feel like people just died for no reason? it’s almost like the writer just couldn’t be bothered to explain why he didn’t want those characters in the final scene so he just killed them for no reason. On a more positive note the gore was still pretty much up to par with the first movie so that’s a point all in itself. The story was lacking, I’m not really sure how to explain it aside from I was completely bored. Would I suggest you watch it once? probably not but if like me curiosity gets the best of you just be warned that the whole 103 minute movie might leave you with a feeling of great disappointment and the urge to stab Kick-Ass in the face with a fork.
Written by: Admin GemmaLouWho

Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Overall movie score: 4 (lowest 1-10 highest)

Point breakdown:

  1. First point goes to Hit Girls early in the movie fight scene
  2. Second point goes to Mother Russia (Who overall was an awesome character)
  3. Third point goes to The Mother Fucker (Any super villain who dresses in bondage gear is hilarious)
  4. And the fourth and final point goes to the equal amount of awesome gore the first movie had (Love me some bloody gory fights)

Final critique:

(Spoilers

If somebody were to ask me if I would ever actually own this movie I would say no (and I’m a movie connoisseur so that’s saying something). After watching and really enjoying the first kick-ass watching the second one was a given although I feel like I could have gone my whole life without seeing it. Big Daddy and Hit Girl were some of the biggest reasons why I loved the first movie but alas Big Daddy was killed at the end of the first movie so no appearance from him and Hit Girl  is too busy trying to fit in to be Hit Girl.  Don’t get me wrong some points were given here and there for some bad-ass scenes where she was actually Hit Girl. Onto Colonel Stars and Stripes, played by Jim Carrey, the character was very fun for the short amount of time he starred in the movie. I felt as if the character could have played a heavier roll and possibly been fleshed out a bit more (He might have even saved the movie if he had been written in properly). Which reminds me, did anyone else feel like people just died for no reason? it’s almost like the writer just couldn’t be bothered to explain why he didn’t want those characters in the final scene so he just killed them for no reason. On a more positive note the gore was still pretty much up to par with the first movie so that’s a point all in itself. The story was lacking, I’m not really sure how to explain it aside from I was completely bored. Would I suggest you watch it once? probably not but if like me curiosity gets the best of you just be warned that the whole 103 minute movie might leave you with a feeling of great disappointment and the urge to stab Kick-Ass in the face with a fork.

Written by: Admin GemmaLouWho